Teaching Your Kids Effective Communication Skills for the New Year

The new year is a time of fresh starts and new beginnings, offering parents the perfect opportunity to instill effective communication in their children. Effective communication is vital for building strong relationships and plays a crucial role in a child's personal and academic growth.

Research consistently demonstrates that children with strong communication skills experience greater happiness, self-confidence, and the ability to express themselves effectively.

Furthermore, cultivating healthy communication habits and positive body language from an early age can positively impact various aspects of a child's life. It equips them with the tools needed to navigate social interactions, resolve conflicts peacefully, and articulate their thoughts and feelings.

By encouraging open and honest communication, parents create an environment where children feel safe to express themselves, fostering trust and emotional well-being. Through active listening, effective dialogue, and setting clear expectations, parents can empower their children to become confident communicators who can navigate life's challenges with ease.

Mom talking with son

The Power of Active Listening

Active listening is a fundamental aspect of effective communication and involves giving your full attention to what someone else is saying. As parents, it's easy to get caught up in our own thoughts and distractions, especially during busy times like the new year. However, by actively listening to our children, we show them that their thoughts and feelings are valued

The First Step

Before embarking on the journey of teaching children effective communication, parents must first acknowledge and nurture their in-person communication. Good communication starts with self-awareness, understanding one’s communication style, and how it impacts others. Parents can benefit from self-reflection, acknowledging their strengths, and recognizing areas of improvement.

Asking for feedback from trusted individuals can also be a valuable exercise in self-improvement. Reflecting on past interactions can provide insights into how one's messages are interpreted and the impact it has on relationships, fostering a space for growth and learning.

Continuous improvement is an essential aspect of personal growth and parenting. As parents develop clear communication and get on the same page, they not only become role models for their children but also create a more open and supportive environment at home.
Parents playing with child

Tips for Creating a Great Communicator

Set an example

Parents are the first role models for their children, it's crucial to start by setting an example. Children learn a lot from watching and listening to their caregivers. 

Use positive language and teach your child how to express themselves without using negative words or actions to convey their thoughts. Be an active listener, avoid distractions, and genuinely listen to your child's ideas and concerns. By doing this, you’re preparing your child to communicate positively with others.

Encourage Conversation

Encourage effective communication by promoting conversations with open-ended questions. Open-ended questions stimulate conversations, thoughts, and ideas. It also allows your child to express themselves without fear of judgment.

Make sure to have open conversations during meals, car rides, park visits, or any other quiet activities you do with your child. Use this time to ask questions and show interest in what they’re thinking or doing. Eventually, they’ll learn to open up more and express themselves better.

Same Way

Effective communication is a 2-way street between both the sender and receiver that requires active listening. Teach your children to listen attentively and actively through kind gestures like nodding, eye contact, and responding to emotions. By doing this, you’re showing them that their thoughts and feelings matter and they'll be encouraged to develop effective communication.

Set Boundaries

Clear boundaries give your child a sense of security and help them navigate relationships. Make sure your child understands what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t. You can use role-playing to teach your child how to say no, set limits, and deal with challenging situations. As parents, it's our duty to protect our children without stifling their emotional and social development.

Positive Reinforcement

Children thrive on positive reinforcement. Make sure to praise your child's positive communication skills and encourage them to keep practicing. Use phrases like "I love how you're expressing yourself" or "I'm so proud of you for speaking up," to build their confidence and further reinforce effective communication. It's important not to overdo it. Make sure your child understands that good communication is expected but negative behavior has consequences.

Parent playing with child and blocks

Discovering Your Child's Communication Style

Identifying your child's style and body language is a crucial step towards fostering healthy communication habits. Children, just like adults, have their unique ways of expressing and absorbing information. Recognizing these individual patterns can help parents adapt their communication methods, fostering more effective dialogues. 

Observe Their Interactions

Pay close attention to your child's social interactions. Notice how they express themselves in various settings - with friends, during games, in school, or at home. Look for patterns in their communication. Are they more expressive verbally or non-verbally? Do they prefer in-depth discussions or are they more comfortable with brief, straightforward conversations?

Identify Their Comfort Zone

Some children are more comfortable expressing themselves in certain environments or with specific people. Identify these comfort zones. It can provide valuable insight and improve communication.

Seek Professional Help

If you find it challenging to build two way communication, consider seeking advice from a child psychologist or a communication professional. These experts can provide valuable insights and practical tips tailored specifically to your child's needs to help them develop effective communication.

Kids at school around a table talking

Communicating with Nonverbal Children

If your child is nonverbal, communication may seem challenging at first. However, remember that communication is much broader than just words. Nonverbal children often communicate through other means such as gestures, facial expressions, and behaviors. Here are some strategies to foster communication with your nonverbal child:

Understand Their Cues

These can be certain gestures, facial expressions, or behaviors they use when they want to express something.

Use Visual Aids

Visual aids such as pictures, charts, or symbols can be very beneficial for nonverbal children. They can use these aids to express their wants, needs, or feelings.

Encourage Use of Assistive Technology

Various assistive technologies can help nonverbal children to communicate. This includes devices that produce speech, apps designed for communication, and more. Consult with a speech-language pathologist to find suitable options for your child.

Promote Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC)

AAC involves all forms of communication other than oral speech. This can include things like sign language, use of symbols, or electronic devices. Implementing AAC can be a game-changer for nonverbal children, opening up new avenues for them to express themselves.

Patience and Encouragement

Keep in mind that learning to communicate can be a slow process for nonverbal children. Be patient, and consistent, and always encourage your child to communicate in their own way. Celebrate every little progress they make and reassure them that their voice, however they choose to express it, matters.

Kids running down school hall with backpacks


Benefits of Developing Healthy Communication

Important Skills

Effective communication yields several immediate as well as short-term benefits for children. The most immediate advantage is the enhanced ability to articulate thoughts and emotions. This not only aids in self-expression but also in understanding and empathizing with others' feelings, thereby strengthening social bonds.

Team Building

Furthermore, children with effective communication habits are likely to excel academically. They are better equipped to participate in classroom discussions, understand instructions, and collaborate on group projects.

Boost Self-Confidence

In the short term, these skills play a crucial role in boosting self-confidence, as children feel empowered to voice their opinions and make their needs known. They are more likely to establish positive relationships, as they're able to manage conflicts constructively and express their feelings assertively.

Open Communication

Developing effective communication early on also fosters emotional well-being. As children learn to verbalize their feelings, they gain a better understanding of them, which in turn helps reduce anxiety and foster resilience.

Workplace Effective Communication

The cultivation of healthy and effective communication in children goes beyond immediate, everyday benefits. In the long term, these skills become the building blocks for successful professional and personal lives.

Workplace Effective Communication

A child who is an effective communicator grows into an adult who can successfully navigate workplace environments, build strong personal relationships, and advocate for themselves and their needs. They are better equipped to handle disagreements, negotiate, and solve problems, and have fewer workplace conflicts. Moreover, these skills reduce the risk of misunderstandings, fostering a more productive and harmonious life.

Better Relationships

For parents, the long-term benefits of honing their communication tools are equally significant. Parents who communicate effectively with their children foster a lasting bond of trust and respect, building a strong familial foundation. It enables them to guide their children effectively as they grow and face new challenges. Improved and effective communication also leads to more satisfying relationships outside the home, including workplaces and social circles. Additionally, parents who are effective communicators model positive communication behaviors for their children, thereby contributing to the continuous cycle of skill development.

Mom doing homework with son


Encouraging Children to Open Up

Cultivating an environment where a child feels comfortable to share their feelings, thoughts, or concerns is vital. Here are some strategies that can be used:

Create a Safe Environment

Children are more likely to share their thoughts when they feel safe and secure, so try to build team collaboration. Ensure you create an atmosphere that is non-judgmental, patient, and understanding. This involves not just hearing your child's words, but truly seeking to understand their perspective. Avoid interrupting or offering solutions too quickly, and instead, encourage your child to fully express their thoughts. Refrain from immediately evaluating or labeling their experiences. Instead, validate their feelings and reassure them that it's okay to feel the way they do. By consistently demonstrating a non-judgmental attitude, you create a safe space where your child feels valued and heard.

Be Available

Make sure you are available to listen when they are ready to talk. If they approach you with something they want to share, stop what you are doing and give them your undivided attention. Make time where you can engage with them without distractions. This may mean setting aside specific times of the day when you are fully available or creating opportunities for one-on-one interaction. When your child speaks to you, put away electronic devices, turn off the television, and fully focus on them.

Ask Open-ended Questions

Instead of asking yes or no questions, ask questions that require more thought and allow for more conversation. This encourages your child to express their feelings more openly and encourages more detailed responses, stimulating thoughtful conversation.

Here are a few examples:

Instead of asking, "Did you have fun at the park?", ask "What was the most exciting part of your time at the park today?"

Instead of asking, "Did you like the new book?", ask "What did you find most interesting in the new book you read today?"

Instead of asking, "Did you enjoy your lunch?", ask "Can you tell me about your favorite part of lunch today?"

Using such questions fosters deeper engagement and encourages your child to share more about their experiences and feelings.

Two kids whispering secrets to each other

Model an Appropriate Emotional Vocabulary

When talking about emotions, use a wide variety of words to describe how you feel. This helps your child learn a broader range of emotional vocabulary, allowing them to more precisely express their own feelings. For instance, instead of just saying you’re feeling “good,” you might say you feel “excited,” “relieved,” or “grateful.” Similarly, instead of saying you’re feeling “bad,” you might express that you feel “frustrated,” “disappointed,” or “worried.” This not only models how to talk about emotions but also validates these feelings as a normal and important part of life. If you're having a hard time coming up with words to describe your feelings, consider buying a feelings wheel that shows all the different emotions. We love this one off of Amazon.
Wheel of Emotions

Share your Feelings and Experiences

By sharing your feelings and experiences, you can help children understand that it's okay to talk about feelings and experiences. This practice can make them more comfortable talking about their own feelings and experiences. When you share your experiences, be authentic and genuine, and model positive ways of coping with feelings. For example, instead of saying "I never get angry," try saying "Sometimes I feel angry too, but I take deep breaths or count to ten to help me calm down." This teaches children that it's normal to experience a range of emotions and provides them with healthy expectations.

Respect their Feelings

Avoid dismissing their feelings or thoughts. Instead, acknowledge their emotions and let them know it's okay to feel the way they do. Sometimes, children may express their feelings in ways that seem unreasonable or silly. However, it's important to remember that those feelings are real and valid to the child. Take the time to talk through these emotions with your child and help them find healthy ways to cope with them. By respecting their feelings, you show them that you value their perspective and validate their experiences.

Show Empathy

Try to understand the situation from their perspective. This will help them feel heard and validated, making them more likely to open up in the future. Empathy entails actively listening, reflecting back on their words, and acknowledging the emotions they are experiencing. It may also involve sharing similar experiences from your own life to show that you understand how they feel. When children feel understood and supported, they are more likely to open up and share their thoughts and feelings.

Celebrate Vulnerability

Encourage your child to be vulnerable. This means allowing them to express their true emotions, even if they may be difficult or uncomfortable. When children feel safe and supported in expressing vulnerability, it can help build trust and strengthen bonds within the family. Let your child know that it's okay to cry, be afraid, or make mistakes. Normalize these feelings as part of being human and show them that you are there for them.

Remember, getting children to open up takes time and patience, so don't feel discouraged if it doesn't happen instantly. Keep the lines of communication open and let them know that you're always there to listen.

By creating a safe and non-judgmental environment, you can foster meaningful conversations and build strong relationships with your child. Ultimately, this will help them develop healthy emotional intelligence and better cope with their feelings throughout life. So keep practicing these tips and watch your child grow into a confident and emotionally intelligent individual. Keep the conversation flowing!

Mother and son reading together


Developing effective communication in children offers numerous benefits and is crucial for their academic and personal growth. By setting a positive example, encouraging open conversation, practicing active listening, setting boundaries, and using positive reinforcement, parents can empower their children with the necessary tools and knowledge to communicate effectively.

Moreover, investing time and effort into your child's communication development is a resolution worth pursuing in the new year. By fostering a supportive environment and providing opportunities for them to express themselves, you are nurturing their self-confidence and building strong foundations for their future endeavors. Remember, effective communication is a lifelong skill that will benefit them in all aspects of life, so let's make it a priority this year. To follow our community, join us on Instagram at thelittlevirtuesbooks.



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  3. "The Power of Positive Reinforcement." Parenting Science, www.parentingscience.com/positive-reinforcement.html.
  4. "Teaching Kids Boundaries." Verywell Family, www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-teach-kids-boundaries-1094870.